HEY BUDDY!! How are you?! Yep, we’re all good. I was thinking about you this morning & realized it’s been almost a Y-E-A-R since I last saw you. I KNOW! You still wearing that same crazy shirt? Yeah, me too. So. Listen bud. I wrote a few months ago, and I realize how busy you are – but seriously. The time has come. WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO MAINE???!!! B/c I am out of stuff.
Peppermint castile soap. Salt free tomatoes. No salt tuna and sockeye salmon. Dried mango. Knockoff cereal. chocolate chips. Emergen-C. Bargain priced stonyfield farm yogurt. Joe, I will be blunt. Portland is stupendous, but it simply won’t be paradise until you’re here too.
I emailed you weeks ago. Requesting a new location….and… and…Nothing. DUDE – I miss you! Baaad. The stickers and balloons. Those wild shirts. From your 2 Buck Chuck to your chocolate covered almonds. From your french milled goodness to your uncured hot dogs – to the tofu, Joe. I need you.
Portland *(maine) needs you.
your favorite MAINE-UH (really from away)
PS: And Please hurry, b/c my recyclable shopping bags have all sprung holes & I’m in need of some colorful new ones. But – only yours. xo
HEYYA!! Sorry it’s been so long since my last post. This whole *BAKING UP A BUSINESS* thing is very time intensive. More on that later/BUT for now The Cart & I just wanted to thank you for your support. Great suggestions, everyone! I have designed a t shirt for our future excursions which I think will simplify matters greatly.
THANKS>!!ME too. Hard to believe I’ve been *From Away* for SEVEN WHOLE WEEKS NOW!
What do you mean, what do I mean? Aren’t you LISTENING? I’ve been From Away for 7 weeks. OH! No.. I don’t mean I’ve been AWAY FROM Philly all this time, though you could read it that way too. No. What I really mean is since moving to Maine I’ve joined a secret heretofore unknown and supremely mysterious group which is in fact growing ever larger even as I write this sentence. In fact — you are very likely a part of it — and you may not even KNOW! NO _ I’m not talking about LOST! BUT SPEAKING OF WHICH _did you watch weds night? I KNOW! I was like GO JOHN! WAY to kick that stupid bug-eyed benjamin linus in the balls. MAN I HATE HIM. BUT – aanyway – From Away is a folksy term used by Mainers to identify OUTSIDERS. It’s a polite way of acknowledging crazy persons without having to point and make little nutball circles next to one’s head. Saying someone is FROM AWAY is akin to calling them a dingus w/out saying so. It’s simply understood.
Mainers are very proud of their heritage. If you were born in Maine, you are and will always be a Mainer (Maine-uh). Everyone else is From Away. SO that pretty much includes us all – or 99.9999999852% of the world. Having “From Away” to bandy about – well, it makes it easy for Mainers to scoff at, scorn or ridicule those not from Maine (meaning US), without alerting us to this fact. I also believe, though I cannot be certain, that this whole “From Away” thing was intended to establish Maine superiority and/or differentiate between homegrown and non-native whackadoo. A little like the Nazis, but extremely reserved and without death camps.
WELL. LET ME JUST SAY./ All of us were born somewhere. I, for one, was born in a hospital. But not everyone has that luxury. Some people were born in Maine. But I do not fault them for that. No. That my friends would be wrong. Making fun of someone, rolling your eyes behind their back or assuming they’ll vote A CERTAIN WAY because of where they were born is not right. That is just plain PLACIST.
And in this day and age, to have to play the PLACE card – well… I don’t have to roll my eyes b/c you KNOW I AM ANYWAY. That is stooping pretty darn low. NOT as low as that guy hawking tee shirts w/ Calvin peeing on that other guy, but STILL. Just b/c I am FROM AWAY does not mean I don’t enjoy a lobstah roll as much as the next guy. [Though, between you & me, I’d save your $10.] And DON’T get me started on the whole top-split New England frank roll vs. the “Other part of the country” side-split hot dog bun… sheesh.