Halloween Observations

Hope you all had a great Halloween!  Me??  WELL. Saturday night I took my younger daughter Trick-or-Treating.  Being new to the neighborhood, I was on HIGH ALERT.  Paying extra special attention to everything.  Such as, Why do so many people here have curtains? And why do these be-curtained people not have their porch lights on?  Or answer their doorbells?  Even when we rang more than once.  I could see faint light through these window treatments, so they were obviously inside, watching TV or playing on the computer.  But they weren’t answering their doors.  Granted, I had to stick our candy out front in a bowl while we went trick-or-treating ourselves.  Long story short: my husband & our older daughter were out of town, so we didn’t have anyone to “tend” to the house like we usually would.  And our jack-o-lantern must have blown out (it was windy).  Our 250 yr old house doesn’t have a porch light, and we also don’t have a door bell.  And no one was home.  SO it may have LOOKED like we were not participating in Halloween, even though I spent $25 on candy that sat outside in a bowl, uneaten.  What I am saying here – is my new neighborhood is way quiet.

I have come up w/ 7 Levels of Halloween Participation.  I had lots of time between Trick-or-Treats to do this.

1) The Die-Hard.

Grown adults who retain the spirit of Halloween they had as children.  These folks go the full 9 yards.  They don costumes.  Their houses don costumes.  Put simply: Die Hards DO Halloween.  They spend months in advance preparing for the Big Night.  They assemble props.  They install theatrics.  They make constructions worthy of awards.  These are the houses all the children want to visit, though their spooky extravagance may leave little ones cringing in fear.

2) The Holiday Enthusiast.

These people like Halloween b/c they like holidays in general.  They do window displays.  They hang flags.  If they have a front yard, they own at least one large inflatable.  Often these inflatables cover multiple themes, such as Holiday + Local Sports Team (i.e., satan wearing an Eagles jersey).  The Holiday Enthusiast celebrates Halloween the same way they celebrate all holidays.  With eagerness and commercial support.

3) The Tepid Observer.

These people give out candy only b/c it’s expected.  They really do not want to, but are afraid if they don’t they will garner negative attention.  A few are secretly afraid of being egged. or T.P.’ed.  They never decorate for the holiday.  To do so would garner unwanted attention.  Mostly they just want to be left alone, but it’s hard to be left alone when people expect candy.  So on Halloween they answer the door and smile wanly as they drop a single KitKat into your bag.  Then they close the door and retreat into blessed solitude once more.

4) The Reveler.

This category covers those who like to PAR-TAY!  No need to elaborate.

5) The Non-Committal.

These Halloween participants are there in name only.  Not b.c they don’t want to celebrate Halloween, but b.c circumstance gets in the way.  These are the folks who leave a bowl of candy out on the front porch w/ the light on.  They may or may not decorate.  They may or may not have a lit jack-o-lantern.  Many parents fall into this category.  Also, older people.  Or the young.  Pretty much anyone who has a life and cannot stick around on a Saturday night to dole out candy.

6) The Hell Raiser.

This person believes October 31st belongs to the devil and trick-or-treating is akin to satan worship.  All who participate in Halloween ritual are pagans.  These people will not be home Halloween night b.c they are at church celebrating something not called Halloween but for which most of them are costumed and receiving candy.

7) The Unexcused.

This category encompasses the rest of the world.  Who say TO HELL! with Halloween – not for any religious reason, but for sheer (INSERT WHATEVER LAME-O EXCUSE YOU CAN COME UP W/ HERE).  These people cannot be bothered to buy a bag of candy.  They have more important things to do w. their time.  Like stay home on a Saturday night, watching TV or playing video games.  Behind their iron fortress of curtains. While the costumed stand outside ringing in the dark.  Treatless.

Just days till Halloweeeeeeeen

Our first Halloween in the new house! HOW EXCITING. I’ve heard rumors it’s going to be fun. My children tell me I may even see some .. FREE CANDY! Could it get any better?? Why yes. B/c this year I am going as an accessory to my younger daughter’s costume. That should guarantee me candy. As long as these new neighbors aren’t giving out TOOTHBRUSHES. or pennies. SHeeesh.. So what are you going as this year? PAULA DEEN?? WOW.

paula deenpaula deen

I spent a couple hours yesterday assembling Maddie’s costume. Normally I’d have made her do it, but frankly it beat painting. Let’s all hear it for THE ROBOT.

the robot

If anyone is interested in making one of these at home, you will need:

2 boxes; 1 larger for body, 1 smaller for head
aluminum foil
tape (regular scotch tape works fine, you can also buy fancy aluminum foil tape at Lowe’s)
scissors & cheap knife or box cutter
assorted reflectors, reflective tape, letters/numbers, stick on doodahs
patience and sense of humor (not sold in stores)

This project will take anywhere from 45 minutes to a day to complete, depending on your level of skill & anal retentiveness.  It took me 2-3 hours. Proof I am neither skilled nor severely retentive. To begin, Cut the bottoms off both boxes. Carefully cut a circle out of the top of the larger of the two boxes, large enough so your child can stick his/her head through comfortably. Next, center the smaller box on top of the larger one, open side down (remember, this is the head), and tape down well. I found strapping the tape across and sealing at the bottom helpful. Reinforce around the edges as needed. Next, cut eye holes and arm holes as desired. Then cover both boxes completely with aluminum foil for that shiny metallic effect. Remember to reinforce around all of the holes so that you don’t have any rips or tears on the Big Night. If you have $10 to spare I suggest splurging on the aforementioned metal tape b/c it makes this project a breeze. It is sold at Lowe’s or Home Depot in the paint section w/ the rest of the tape. I also picked up an empty paint can there for Maddie’s goodies – I think another $3 or $4 bucks.  Once the whole thing is shiny, time to decorate. Use your imagination! I didn’t have time for that so I opted for stick on stuff I bought at Lowe’s. The reflective tape, etc. is just a couple bucks, so again no big investment. You will find it in the aisle w/ house numbers and bathroom signs.  Today: finishing Georgia’s (and my) costume/s.  When you’ve got as many moving boxes as we have, these things just come to you.

candy please