I’m here to get something off of my chest, because it’ll never fit on my legs.
Finding the perfect jeans.
SO. There I was, minding my own business, walking home w/ my family. We’re strolling down Baltimore Ave, as we are wont to do, when I spy a box on the edge of the sidewalk. FREE STUFF. As I never miss a bargain let alone a freebie, I mosey over and take a peek. The box was small w/ just a few t-shirts sticking out the side, but right there on top was a pair of jeans. Hmm. They looked good. New even. Ignoring my husband who told me I was going to get fleas – or WORSE – I snatched them right up. While John stood watching and yelling at Maddie to PUT DOWN THAT T-SHIRT, I unfurled the jeans. WOW. Abercrombie & Fitch low rise flares. Sweeeeet. And not only were they new, but they were NEW! AND also just happened to be my size. My EXACT Size. SHA-ZAM!!! At 5-10 I have a tough time finding pants long enough when I’m actually shopping and paying real money for them – but to find a perfect pair of $80 jeans just sitting there for the taking….??! I TOLD YOU I WAS LUCKY.
As soon as we got home I shot to the bathroom to try them on. I couldn’t BELIEVE IT. Even after I zippered them up and took a gander in the mirror. I marveled at my good fortune. Finding the perfect jeans. Literally. What are the chances?? And yet, If I’d followed my husband’s warning about CONTRACTING A COMMUNICABLE DISEASE these plums would’ve passed me by. If I gave a crap what other people thought of me as I trash picked, I would have missed a GRAND OPPORTUNITY. Not to wax too philosophical on the point, BUT