living with a chronic illness

Catching up.

~ thedailydish ~ 22 Comments

Many, MANY thanks for all the well wishes.  I am finally feeling normal again, thank GOD.  This episode was particularly bad.  Normally the dizziness lasts about a week, this time it was more like 10-11 days.  Being me (read DAMN STUBBORN) I basically try to do everything I normally would.  Which – being home most of the time – is usually o-kay.  I can rest between laundry, kids, pets, chores, etc.  When the spins get overwhelming, I lay down.  But Thanksgiving on spin cycle…?  What a trip.  I spent the day in the kitchen, of course.  WELL – It was that or… what?  Try finding a low sodium holiday meal anywhere on a NORMAL day, let alone one when everything is closed.  SO I PERSEVERED.  Being (as I mentioned) stubborn as hell – as well as halfway insane, it didn’t much matter how sh*tty I felt.  I was going to conquer Thanksgiving or die trying.  The results were divine.  I tried several new recipes this year, including a low sodium cornbread stuffing, baked squash & apples, and whipped sweet potatoes.  Which, if I get my act together, I’ll post on my other DAILY DISH.  Stop laughing.

SO. Before the pity fest, I’d been discussing our latest home improvement project.  Re-tiling the upstairs bath.   Here’s the before shot.

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Living with Meniere’s

~ thedailydish ~ 32 Comments

I get a lot of hits on this blog. Some of you visiting are my friends and family, but others of you are strangers desperate for answers.  Whether you’ve found me through a google search, or have clicked through from The Daily Dish, it is for you that I write this post.  You have been drawn here b/c you, like me, suffer from Meniere’s Disease.

I don’t talk about Meniere’s very often, mostly b/c it’s so damn depressing, but today I am breaking the silence.  Yesterday the dizziness came out of nowhere.  One minute I was fine, the next – nearly on the floor.  Why?  Good question.  It could be a myriad of things, from food to motion to emotion.  But often it’s simply a change in the weather.  Barometric pressure can do funny things to a girl.  And as fun as it might sound to be a human barometer, it’s really not.  Right now I am practically strapped to my chair.  I walk the hallway, steadying myself with the walls.  Living w/ Meniere’s Disease is a literal roller coaster, and most often I try to ignore it away.  But today I can’t.  On days like this, the best I can do is stay calm.

What is it like, one of these episodes? Well. For me, they vary. Take today. I feel dizzy. Unbelievably so. There’s an intense pressure in my head, which gets worse if I move a certain way, or stiffen up, or cough or sneeze or chew – or pretty much do anything. I feel like a top that’s been wound too tight, about to spiral off into the universe.  I am trapped inside my own body.  Like a prisoner, I have no control.  So here I sit. Feeling sorry for myself. I know these episodes pass. It’s not forever.  But it’s hard to reason w/ yourself when you’re feeling so bad. Today it’s the dizziness. Other times, it’s my hearing. First comes the pressure.  I try to coax my ear from its hissy fit.  With increasing desperation, I try to keep it open.  I pop it, over and over.. but it’s no use.  Soon my ear closes off to the world.  The tinnitus grows, my hearing recedes.  Once again, I am half-deaf.  I am alone again, inside.

The doctors try, but they can’t do anything for me. Really. It’s amazing how medicine has made such strides, but so much remains unknown.  I get very philosophical when I’m like this. Forgive me. But I can’t stop thinking about it all.