A week ago my younger daughter brought home a permission slip from school. Her Family and Consumer Science class (FACS), the modern-day equivalent of Home Ec, was offering a take-home activity for interested students. The chance to have a baby! Not a real one, of course, this would be pretend. But unlike the flour sacks or eggs of yore, these kids would be getting something better. A 21st century SIM BABY!
Welcome, Parents! You have found your way here because you’re looking for assistance with your child’s upcoming birthday party. If you’re asking yourself, “HELP! My kid’s party is coming up, WHAT DO I DO?!” I am here to help.
First, let me reassure you. Unless you have groomed your child to believe the sky’s the limit, most kids are very satisfied with a modest party. I’m not talking NADA, but there’s no need to break the bank financing a party for a bunch of 7 years olds. As we just celebrated another successful birthday at home, I thought I’d share some helpful hints with others. After all, it takes a village to raise a child, and two heads are better than one, and.. well. You get the picture.
Party Invitations. Ideas & The All-Important Wording. We all know the invitation says far more than what’s simply stated. It’s all about READING BETWEEN THE LINES. Right? Right! To save on stress and hassle, I offer these suggestions.
- If this party is to be KIDS ONLY, write Drop Off Time: and Pick Up Time: on the invitation, rather than the standard 11-2 PM. This important information conveys to parents that they are not expected nor encouraged to remain at the party (something very few parents relish anyway).
- If this is to be a KIDS & PARENTS affair, write on the invitation “Parents welcome!” “Parents may stay or drop off” or “Look forward to seeing you all” – something along those lines will get the point across.
- Some parents may ask whether a sibling may also attend the party. Or a parent may show up at the party with the expectation of leaving a sibling. How do you handle this? You can: 1) Say fine, and plan accordingly. 2) Explain that due to the number of invitees, the party is being restricted to immediate friends only. or 3) Give them “The Look.” (Kidding! Try 1 or 2.)
- Don’t forget to remind parents to RSVP. You can specify “RSVP Regrets Only” or the like, anything to make it easier for the parents. It’s very hard to prepare for a child’s party without knowing how many guests you will have. Unlike adult parties, where all you need is food & drink, kids parties require more STUFF. Especially if you’re giving out party bags at the end, it’s super helpful to know how many you need to provide. Having a firm count saves time and money, but always have an extra or two just in case (remember those siblings..?)
The invitations themselves can be anything – so get creative! We’ve done hand-drawn party invites, computer print-outs on festive paper, store-bought packaged jobs; it’s all good. The important thing is allowing your child to help in the decision making, if not the actual making of the invitations. Unless they’re too young to care, or completely disinterested, most kids like being in charge of their party to a certain degree. Let their individuality shine though the invites.
FOOD. I am all for healthfulness, but bear in mind – this is a child’s birthday party. It’s supposed to be fun. All things in moderation, remember? You don’t want these kids so sugared up they’re flowing from both ends (sorry) but neither do you want them eyeballing the food with mistrust. This is not really the place for Uncle Iggie’s homemade tofu-garlic dip, unless your kid and their friends think that’s everyday fare. Stick to normal, kid-friendly foods. Like the perennial favorite: PIZZA! To keep costs down, buy it frozen from the grocery store, or better yet, a big box discounter like BJs. I spent $7.49 (with a coupon) for a 12 pack of Red Baron mini pizzas – both cheese & pepperoni – and the kids couldn’t have been happier. BONUS: because of the small size, there was less waste, the kids found them incredibly easy to eat, and Oh yeah, I cut them into quarters to speed cooling. No burned mouths at this party!
FAVORS. I bought candy, party favors and prizes inexpensively at Target and the Dollar Store. Oh! And BJs too. Check the ends of aisles for clearance items. For instance, I found a bunch of plastic slinkies on sale for 48 cents a piece. That’s HALF PRICE or less. And I bought a big 100-piece bag of mini chocolate bars for half the cost at BJs (versus Target). But remember, there’s a difference between being economical, cutting corners in a way no one will notice, and just being CHEAP. People notice CHEAPNESS. They admire you when you are creatively thrifty. Think about it. The latter will earn you respect and imitation, the former costs more than it saves.
Party Bags, Plates & Cups. You can buy these everywhere, and unless your child is wedded to an overarching “theme” – Elmo, Dora, etc. – save money by mixing & matching and looking for sales. I know some people swear by party stores, but I’ve yet to find one with better pricing than a big box discounter, unless you’re shopping for a massive group. And remember, these items are going to be consumed, recycled or thrown away. Don’t waste your money going overboard. Another hint: Get Creative. For both of my daughters parties this year, instead of purchasing commercial party bags, I used brown paper lunch sacks. Total Cost: $1 for 40. To fancy them up, I used a vintage stamp kit I found at a yard sale for $3 bucks. For my older daughter’s party – where I had all the children’s names beforehand, I made a personalized bag for each guest.
For my younger daughter’s recent party, which had a Halloween / harvest theme, I made them a little different.
I offer these purely to spark your own creativity. Use your imagination & go wild!
Piñatas, Treasure Hunts, & Party Crafts. OH MY! Let’s talk party extras. Things that cost a little more, but truly make for an extra special occasion. We’ve done one or more of these at our parties and they’re always a big hit.
Piñatas. This year we found a fabulous piñata at Target on (you guessed it) CLEARANCE. It cost dollars less simply b/c one of the streamers was missing. Umm. Who cares? The thing’s going to get torn apart anyway. But just for show, I carefully trimmed an extra off another end of the piñata and shazam. Perfect-o. To fill it, DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY BUYING THE PRE-BAGGED STASH. It’s expensive, the candy is stale, and it’s boringly standard. Instead buy candy in bulk (it’s cheaper and it’s fresh) – either from a place like BJs or the dollar store. To this add some dollar store trinkets, bead necklaces, erasers, etc. A WORD OF CAUTION: remember this stuff is going to come flying out at a group of children. Don’t buy things that could poke or cause harm, such as lollipops or pencils, and stay away from things that could otherwise break or get damaged in the process.
Treasure Hunts. In a similar vein to the annual Easter egg hunt, try a Treasure Hunt at your next party. It can be as simple or elaborate as you wish, from opening the backdoor and saying Okay Kids, go find the treats, to creating fancy pirate type maps with clues, to..?? Let your mind wander. Just remember weather conditions. DUH? Yes, I know, but it’s less appealing to hunt in the cold and rain. Think ahead and you’ll always be prepared (and look great in the process – *wink*).
Party Crafts. This is a great way to “break” up the time, especially if you’ve opted for a lengthier party. The craft could be anything really – we’ve done “Paint Your Own T-Shirts” and recently “Paint Your Own Mini Pumpkins” –
neither was a huge investment, but provided something very fun and memorable for the kids to do at the party AND take home. You could do a craft that incorporates several things – like food and fun. Make your own sundaes are always popular. You can have them draw pictures, or paint, or make something with dough. Even if it’s just decorating blown up balloons with markers, the kids will have fun. And you will too. There is nothing better than spending quality time with your child, especially on their birthday. And you do not need to spend a lot of money; just be creative.
Games with PRIZES. I don’t care what mamby-pamby parents have to say – Kids like Prizes. I am not steel-jawing these kids into believing YOU MUST PERFORM!!!! to earn a prize. No way. But I’m also not depriving them of the good feeling a win can inspire, either. Keep the games simple and fun, make sure you have enough prizes so that every child has a chance to win, and afterward, give the kids who didn’t win anything a prize for trying. Everyone leaves happy. Sure, some kids might have won more than their peers, but frankly, that’s life. And no one goes home empty handed. Keep the games age appropriate, or you risk dismay (huhhh??) – or worse, boredom. Here is a BIG FAT LIST of suggestions (you are welcome). Good news? The party will be over before you can try them all. And there’s no need to buy much if anything to play these. Make your own Pin the Tail on the (Whatever). Use a pair of rolled up socks or a stuffed animal if you don’t have a bean bag. Any questions about game rules, leave a comment below and I’ll be happy to elaborate. Or have I missed one? Comment & leave your own suggestions as well.
- Musical Chairs
- Hot Potato
- Pin the Tail on the Donkey
- Freeze Dance
- Guess How Many in a Jar
- Draw a Lucky Winner From a Hat
- Balloon Push over the Finish Line
- Kangaroo Hop with Balloon Between Knees
- Toss Bean Bag into Bucket
- Shoe Race – Put everyone’s shoes in central pile, race to get them on
- Duck Duck Goose
- Hide and Seek
- Simon Says
- Red Light Green Light
- Freeze Tag
- Keep Balloon Up in the Air
- Four Corners
- Basketball – who can make the most baskets
- Basketball – who can make the farthest shot
- Race to see who’s fastest
A Friendly Reminder. Your kid’s birthday comes but once a year, don’t waste it stressing over the party. A bunch of kids couldn’t care less that you haven’t finished installing (insert whatever mindless item that’s bothering you). Neither do they care if your silver is spotless. Run the vacuum over Foofie’s furry mess on the carpet, wipe down the counters they’ll be eating on, and relax. If you feel overwhelmed being on your own with all the kids, ask other parents to help. A parenting pro? Invite kids only and 1) your fellow parents get a break, 2) you only need to shell out for children, and 3) you can spend time focusing on making your child happy – rather than entertaining a bunch of adults and worrying what they’re thinking. YOUR CHILD’S BIRTHDAY COMES BUT ONCE A YEAR. This party is for your kid, NOT YOU. Don’t forget that. And don’t sweat the small stuff, b/c really – it’s all small stuff.
For the record, a new job has not yet magically fallen from the sky. But thank you for asking.
Today I am thinking of something else altogether. Goosebumps. No, not the physiological reaction to cold or terror, but the children’s book series of the same name. If you too have kids, you may have heard of it. Maybe you’ve read one (or more) yourself? As a kid, I adored mysteries. I read Nancy Drew of course, and the Hardy Boys, Alfred Hitchcock, Christopher Pike, R.L. Stine (before the Goosebumps series). I even recall the Ellery Queen minute mystery segment which used to air on a local AM radio station. Any tale that involved the supernatural, a ghostly spectre or skeletal hand, creaking doors, maniacal laughter – you name it, and I was transfixed. As a teenager I moved onto horror, and for several years let Stephen King scare the crap out of me. Eventually I grew tired of the genre, mostly b/c I preferred sleeping soundly at night. I’d also discovered something as I aged. The terrifying fact that people in real life can be bigger monsters than anything in fiction.
Fast forward twenty years. I am now mother to two girls, one of whom loves a good mystery. The shivers creeping up & down her spine, till she’s forced to pull the covers over her head. Surprisingly it’s my younger (not older) daughter, who has been for most of her life enchanted with all things ghoulish. We have a running joke about her watching episodes of Scooby Doo as a toddler, reminding us all (in her slurpy slurred speech – due to the pacifier) “mmooonsteersss – pphhaffake.” Her older sister tried Goosebumps a few years ago and was pretty much traumatized by the series. Couldn’t sleep for days, the poor thing. I banned the books and videos (though I didn’t need to). She couldn’t even look at the covers w/out cringing. But recently our younger daughter has started checking the books out from the library. She is 6, and frankly, cannot read that well. The Goosebumps series is geared towards prepubescents. I find it amusing that she proudly clutches them to her chest at the check-out, displaying her choice for all & sundry, and announcing loudly to her sister than SHE IS GETTING GOOSEBUMPS. This week it’s The Cuckoo Clock of Doom.
Two nights ago she thrust the book under my nose. I feigned terror – Ooooooh Georgia, I can’t even look at it! And she positively beamed with pleasure. She tries (or pretends) to be reading the books, though I know she can’t make out more than a few sight words. I understand half her motive for the selection is to (try to) get one-up on her big sister, whom she knows can’t stand the series. Her checking out Goosebumps is akin to saying You Wuss and thumbing her nose at her. I don’t encourage this sort of thing, but it’s not doing any harm. In terms of real competition or threat, it’s a non-issue, and it might be helping her learn to read. A little.
But my husband is having none of it. He sees these Goosebumps books as a completely ineffective distraction from the task at hand. Her learning to read. He has no patience w/ her pretending to do so. So tonight we’re going back to the library to get some more suitable books for our youngest. My question. Can anyone recommend some good mysteries for a 6 year old? Believe me when I saw we’ve exhausted the collection of Scooby Doo soft backs. Are there any others out there for this age group?
THANK YOU, everyone, for your incredible expressions of sympathy. I cannot tell you how much it cheered me up. Seriously. you guys are the BEST.
The past few days I’ve felt like something on the bottom of a shoe, but today the sky is blue, the birds are singing and all seems right again w/ the world. It stings to look out the back window and see Prudence’s lonely hutch there w/out her. But I made arrangements to pick up her ashes in a couple weeks, and returning her to the place she loved will bring closure to the circle. I didn’t realize it would take so long to have a private cremation for a rabbit. But for only $85, who’s complaining? That wouldn’t even cover my toenails at a funeral parlor.
The insurance companies are handling the accident claim. It’s good to know we’re getting something out of allll thatt moneeeyyy spent on insurance.
SO. I have been unbelievably busy the past couple weeks, and feel like I haven’t been blogging, or even reading blogs. I have no time. NONE. I’m only on the computer b/c I snuck away. My daughters are now both home for the summer. The next 11 weeks. I counted.
C’MMMOONNN August 26th!!!!
Who knew two sweet girls could be such ruffians? I am not joking. These kids fight all day long. If one of them isn’t complaining abut the other, it’s probably b/c they’re plotting something else. SERIOUSLY, I need one of those tiny tape recorders so I don’t go hoarse. W/ the touch of a button I’d simply start the playback loop:
I DON’T CARE WHAT SHE DID.
WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP TOUCHING ME.
YES, I HEEEEARRRRRD YOU. THAT IS THE THIRD TIME YOU ASKED> I SAID WAITTTT.
LEAVE YOUR SISTER ALLLLOOOOONE.
STOP IT. NOW. I MEAN IT. CUT IT OOOOUUUUTT. NOOOOOW.
PICK UP YOUR [insert item].
WHERERRE ARE YOUR SHOESS???????????????
NO – MEANS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,
ICE CREAM IS NOT BREAKFAST, and BY THE WAY DID you have to leave it out on the coffee table??? ARE YOU SLOW?? Did you not think I would be pissed that a) you were eating ice cream at 6 o’clock in the morning??, and b) THAT YOU LET IT MELT?? all over the effing table. next to a PILE OF CHIPS. You two stink at this. You have to be SNEAKY. SNEAAAAAAKKKKY. That means putting it ALL BACK before I come down here in the morning. But no….
Yes, I am going a little insane. For some reason, these kids want to be entertained 24/7. They think I am Julie, your cruise director from the Love Boat. I guess it’s my fault. We have been renting the first season of Love Boat episodes from Netflix and MAN, my daughters are HOOKED. My husband has given up. He was patient for a little while, as long as I plied him with a steeping quantity of wine and/or whiskey, but no more. He says he has reached his Love Boat limit. Granted, the shows are a little formulaic. And YES you do know what is going to happen as soon as the passengers board. The acting’s bad. I know it’s not PBS. BUT He just doesn’t understand. I spent hours watching the Love Boat as a child. It was **MAGICAL**.
ANYWAY, John graduated Saturday. and now is the proud owner of a masters degree in Information Science. We’d made plans to attend commencement, but at the very last minute John changed his mind. so we went to the Borgata instead. I have to say, WAY TO GO JOHN! a MUCH more pleasant way to spend a Saturday night. After stuffing our faces at the Buffet, John & the girls hit the beach and Mom-Mom & I hit the slots. LO & BEHOLD, those sneaky tricksters at the Borgata played a shell game w/ my secret luckiest winningest machine and MOVED IT. Damn! Oh well. I won $47 on another machine, and John’s grandmom won $94. I like winning money. Almost as much as being sent UNBELIEVABLY MARVVVELOUS PRESENTS IN THE MAIL when I least expect them! WOW.
JUST LOOK at this absolutely STUNNING scarf I rec’d yesterday from my brilliant pal Tracey. Who soooooo totally ROCKS!!! Thanks so much Trace!!!!!!!! As you can see, Kiwi has already made herself comfortable. I LOVE IT.
It’s amazing how a day away from things can give perspective. Severed from my electrical umbilical cord, I AM A WHOLE NEW PERSON. Well not really, but it did allow me to put a day’s distance between me & THE DISH.
Part of the reason I had to stay off the computer was so I wouldn’t cave. B/c part of me just doesn’t want to stop doing The Daily Dish. Day in and day out. Forever and ever. Amen. This *part* of me is stubborn. It doesn’t care about ME. It is devoted to others. Their well-being. Their welfare. Their nutritional goals. SCREW YOU, it says. I call it Utilitarian Me, after John Stuart Mill. This part of me is always super determined. Disciplined. Moral. And now. ANGRY.
It is hard giving something up. Doubly so, when a part of you reeeeaaaaalllly doesn’t want to. Even if it’s bad for you or drives you crazy or makes you smell. Which isn’t my case, really, but you catch my drift. The Daily Dish is a good thing – a great thing, even. But it isn’t good for me right now. I am already juggling too much between the website, the kitchen, and my life. And now that summer’s fast approaching, I have been spending an exorbitant amount of time stressing over how I will get everything done with BOTH daughters at home. I shouldn’t be worried about any of that. I should be thinking of all the fun we’ll be having over the next few months. The beautiful weather. The hot days full of adventures and memories and time together. Instead I am thinking about the stupid website.
My daughters are, and have always been, my first priority. I gave up my career to stay home full time and I’ve never regretted it. I should feel no obligation to maintain a website I created out of the goodness of my own heart. And yet, I do. OF COURSE YOU KNOW I DO. But WHY? When I do it for no pay and it is becoming too taxing for words, that’s a bad thing. Lately I’ve felt like a fox in a trap, wondering whether I’ll have to chew off my own leg to save myself. My urge to maintain the status quo is almost too strong for my own good.
For now, it’s necessary to take a break. The website will remain as it’s been. I am not taking it down. I have avoided even changing it from the Memorial Day page, for fear I’ll CAVE. For the past year and a half, some part of my brain, sometimes all of it, has been consumed with this website. It’s like a baby. I literally gave birth to it, and it has been my passion. Developing recipes, deciding what to make, how to make it. What to work on, what to drop. I was already crazy about food and photography, but you put them together and I AM INSANE. When I was sick, I kept going. Doing anything dizzy is not a lot of fun. But still I did it, because I felt others were counting on me. When I went on vacation, I worried about my readers. Would they be okay? Would they be cheating? I thought more about them than I did myself.
I cannot tell you how liberating it is, after all these months, to taste FREEDOM. I spent 8 hours today cleaning my house. And even though I despise cleaning, today it felt good. No website. No recipe. As I scrubbed toilets, I thought about how SPARKLING THEY WERE. As I vacuumed, I thought how wondrous a machine a vacuum is, and how glad I am to have one. As my back ached while I bent over mopping the last floor of the house, I thanked GOD that I was finished. I wasn’t preoccupied with getting THE DISH done so I could take pictures while the light was good. Or having to orchestrate cooking of THE DISH so that it would conveniently coincide w/ mealtime. I didn’t have to think about any of that. Now my house is clean. And NOT ONLY THAT. BUT my priorities are straight, and summer is almost here.
So please don’t be sad. I want you all to know that this isn’t the end – it’s really, truly, the beginning. I have the next 3 months w/ my girls. I am SO EXCITED!! We will have so much fun together, and I will be blogging here about it all, sharing everything w/ you, my friends. In the fall, my daughters will BOTH be going off to school. And then – the fun BEGINS. The start of a real adventure for me. I’ve spent the past 8 years at home, being here for my family. Loving them, taking care of them, making everyone else a priority. For good bad & or UGLY, I’ve done it all. But come September, it’s Christy Time. IT’S ALL ME. And then anything is possible. Stay tuned. B/c come what may, I promise, it’ll be fun.
Yesterday, early afternoon. We left the house to go pick up our older daughter from a friend’s, then proceed downtown to check out the Philly Home Show. My husband is crazy about home improvement stuff. So we left our house, drove 6 blocks to our friends’ place, got our daughter, drove another 1/2 block to the service station for some oil, turned around and drove another 12 blocks to go get on the expressway, when we hear this loud scraping noise. WHAT WAS THAT?! My husband stops the car. He hops out to discover
his favorite coffee cup’s been hitching a ride on the roof all this time. The coffee was still in the cup, and from what he said, tasted as good as it did when we left the house. Now if that isn’t a testament to my husband’s impeccable driving, I don’t know what it.
So we get downtown, park, and we’re walking through Chinatown to the convention center. I love Chinatown. It’s so neat. Where else would people sell chicken feet out of a box located right on the sidewalk? Now THAT’s convenience. My older daughter was thinking there isn’t a whole lot of meat on a chicken’s foot. Silly! These look plenty meaty. Yum-YUM.
We were so happy to finally reach the convention center because it was REALLY REALLY COLD outside. BBBBRRRRR!!! But unfortunately when we got to the convention center, and went through the door that said ENTRANCE and were just about to walk over to the booth for our tickets, we were stopped by a security guard who told us that we had to go back outside and around to the other end of the building and use the OFFICIAL ENTRANCE DOOR FOR THE HOME SHOW. We pointed out that the ticket booth was a stone’s throw away, and there were lots of other people standing around but apparently at the PA Convention Center you must use THE PROPERLY LICENSED DOOR. So we had to go back outside into the freezing cold and walk around to the other end of the building to wind up exactly where we’d just been. b/c THAT’S HOW IT WORKS HERE IN PHILLY and don’t you forget it.
We finally bought our tickets, paid another $6 to check our coats, then spent the next 20 minutes at the restroom. You see, when you have children and you are THE MOM, you spend a lot of time in bathrooms. I have seen the inside of so many of them that I have my own personal Potty System™. I am a patient woman. That works in my favor. I ask my kids once, twice, sometimes three times, DO YOU HAVE TO GO? I rarely listen to the answer because sometimes they lie. So instead I say, YOU WILL GO NOW BECAUSE THIS IS YOUR CHANCE. My older daughter is very good, she is older and listens to me. My younger daughter is a crap-shoot (no pun intended). Like yesterday. We were all tightly squeezed into the stall and she adamantly denied having to go. Then we get outside and 5 minutes later she’s hopping up and down. This is the norm. So I spend a lot of time in bathrooms. I critique them silently while my child/ren are doing their business. I award mental points for cleanliness, stock-age and overall aesthetic appeal. Bonus points are given to places w/pull-down plastic changing tables. My kids may be out of diapers, but no one should have to change their baby on a cold & often filthy floor. Restrooms with sanitary product dispensing machines with ACTUAL PADS AND TAMPONS get extra bonus points. The convention center bathrooms are new and fairly clean. They have multicolor tile patterns on the wall above the toilets, placed to interest mothers just like me. They have soap dispensers with the foamy type of soap I prefer. The bathrooms at the Franklin Institute (where we went Saturday) are nice. They are very clean. In fact, I noted seeing the same cleaning attendant in three of their bathrooms as we made our way through the building. She was very diligently sweeping up stray bits of TP. A+
The home show itself was okay. We went last year, and it was exactly the same this year. Aisle after aisle of people trying to sell you stuff. Flooring, kitchens, bathrooms, home security. Saunas and spas. HOT TUBS!! My older daughter helpfully pointed out that several of the large tubs have built-in places for your WINE. WOW. There were a few people set up with those head-mics, yelling at you to buy their knives, or wonder towels, or amazing dirt sucking up mops. I saw one guy actually toting his purchased mop around the place and couldn’t help thinking a GUY WHO MOPS!! WOW. We even saw GM selling cars, though i don’t know many people rich enough to have a car inside their house. As I told my husband, we have been there 2 years in a row, do not ask me to come a third. Fortunately, we are in complete agreement. I found out on the last aisle, the only reason he wanted to come was to buy more stained glass for our house. Unfortunately, he forgot that he bought the stained glass at last year’s FLOWER SHOW. Oh well. We’ll be back to the convention center for that in March. I will try to remember to use the right door.