The difficulty of staying monogamous w/ one’s yogurt.

Weeks ago I posted about becoming a Stonyfield Farm recipe-of-the month winner. I described my fabulous array of yogurt-themed prizes and the honor that is having one’s name on the amazingly wonderful SF Farm website. AND YES it was WONDERFUL. But since that blissful time, things have – well, changed. It’s not ALL ABOUT ME anymore. Of course, Stonyfield is still the same delicious yogurt it’s always been, but somehow I’m just not feeling so special. Yes, I know it inevitably happens once the honeymoon’s over, and Yes, we are still going through the motions, BUT lately when I go to the supermarket, I notice others.

As many of you know, I am a very busy woman. True, I make my life seem oh-so-easy and glamorous, but it is actually a whole lot of WORK. And as part of my routine of convenience and cheapness, it is customary for me to do quite a bit of shopping at BJs warehouse super store. And since I consume such vast amounts of delicious wholesome yogurt, this is a really good thing. I can buy all that yummy nutritious Stonyfield Farm yogurt at LOW LOW Warehouse prices and save enough to go right back and BUY SOME MORE! Unfortunately, I have recently noticed as I’ve said, alternatives brazenly on display right there beside my beautiful Stonyfield. *GASP!* I KNOW. it is more than a little shocking for me to admit I have found myself even LOOKING AT OTHERS, but let’s face it. Once the coupons run out, I am only human.

It has come to my attention that the two yogurts below:


Hereafter referred to as BRAND C and BRAND D for sake of modesty, sell in cases right beside my beloved SF Farm at BJs Warehouse Superstore. They are also attractively packaged, so I admit, I have eyeballed them from time to time. Neither are organic, so they both sell more cheaply. AS they would HAVE TO b/c no one wants to buy the cow when they can get the milk for FREE, right?
No one touches Stonyfield’s undoctored wholesome quality and goodness! But I have recently noticed one undeniable & striking difference between BRAND C and BRAND D and my pure SF Farm. C and D both offer AN EXTRA FLAVOR in their yogurt cases. which unfortunately happens to be my most favoritest yogurt flavor of all. PEACH.

    Oh, say it ain’t so! I wish I could. I really really wish I could. but I would of course be lying. B/c it is true. Peach yogurt is simply the BEST, and there is no denying it. I will now describe to you my dilemma.

    All three brands of yogurt sell in cases of either 12 (Brand C and SF Farm) or 15 (Brand D). SF Farm is the most expensive at $8.89, the others sell for a dollar or two less.

    Brand C offers 12 cups of yogurt: 4 strawberry, 4 blueberry and 4 PEACH.

    Brand D offers 15 cups of yogurt: 5 strawberry, 5 blueberry and 5 PEACH.

    SF Farm offers 12 cups of yogurt: 6 strawberry and 6 blueberry and 0 PEACH.

          In order for you to understand the gravity of this situation, I must disclose the fact that I am one of 57 people living on Planet Earth who does not like (PREPARE YOURSELVES)

          Strawberries. I KNOW. INSANE. But I hate them. Passionately. The only strawberries I have ever even remotely liked were hand-picked in an organic field in Vermont, taken home to our friends picture-perfect log cabin, rinsed in ice cold spring water, sliced thinly and spooned over homemade flapjacks with pure 100% Vermont maple syrup. And even those were just o-kay. So the REAL Figures are as follows:

          Brand C: 4 strawberry, 4 blueberry and 4 PEACH = 8 YOGURTS

          Brand D: 5 strawberry, 5 blueberry and 5 PEACH = 10 YOGURTS

          SF Farm: 6 strawberry and 6 blueberry and 0 PEACH = 6 YOGURTS

          You CAN NOW SEE MY DIFFICULTY. Out of all 3 brands, Stonyfield gives me the worst yogurt return. by far. And although my Beloved Stonyfield Farm Organic is the yummiest most wholesome yogurt on the planet, and undeniably OUT OF THIS WORLD DELICIOUS, I am not MADE OF MONEY. I simply cannot continue paying twice for 6 blueberry yogurts. Back when we first got together, me and SF, I would have done anything. Walked across glass or hot coals, or paid four times over. But nowadays, it just seems crazy. Yes, I know that Love is Blind, and Money Cannot Buy Happiness, and STONYFIELD RULES, but… but….But. if only, ONLY THEY INCLUDED PEACH. THEN Everything would be Just Peachy. once again.

          I *heart* Stonyfield Farm

          Last month I got a very unexpected email from the marketing coordinator at Stonyfield Farm yogurt informing me I’d won their Recipe of the Month contest. WOW! I didn’t even know I’d been entered, but apparently when you submit a recipe (something I did), they enter you automatically. Coool. So I was super excited to hear I’d been chosen as one of three winners for the month of November (an honor in and of itself), but even more psyched when I read that I’d also be getting… a PRIZE! Now, I don’t know if you can tell from my online persona, but sometimes I can get PRETTY EXCITED, and this was one of those times. A goodie bag of yogurt wonders ALL FOR MY VERY OWN!!! WOOHOO!

          So I have been eagerly awaiting the arrival of my precious yogurt box, and late last week I began wondering where it could be. I worried about it a little bit. You see, we have issues with our mail delivery here at our palatial West Philly estate. Indeed, our postal service has become so erratic that we’ve had to open a PO Box at the main Philly branch in order to ensure we actually get some of our mail. Unfortunately when you miss a payment, businesses do not care if it was because you never ever got the bill. That’s simply NOT an excuse. And when we do receive mail at our house, it’s often sampled or heavily used. Like our bank statements, which come open and pre-scrutinized. Or our magazines, which arrive so dog-eared we know what the mailman had for lunch. We also routinely receive mail for other people, blocks away, which I dutifully walk over and place gently through their slot. But who is getting my mail? And why aren’t they kindly returning the favor?? Yesterday my 94 year old grandma called to say she’d gotten my recent card, but someone had slit the envelope down the side and removed the rest of its contents. It made me SO MAD. WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE?? HAVE THEY NO SHAME?? DO THEY NOT HAVE A GRANDMA~?? DO THEY NOT REALIZE GOD DOES NOT LOOK FAVORABLY ON THOSE WHO STEAL FROM 94 YEAR OLD WOMEN LONGING FOR PHOTOS OF THEIR GRANDCHILDREN??? As my husband would say, may God smite them. Painfully.

          So you see, I was beginning to think my beautiful Stonyfield Farm prize might have been delivered and stolen off my porch. Like the time my husband ordered something from Apple, and UPS delivered it to some deranged woman 12 blocks away, who called us demanding money for its return. Or the time my neighbor ordered books from Amazon and found the open package three blocks away in the street. So this weekend I contacted the very nice marketing coordinator, explaining my concern, and YIPPEE! she told me that my package was on its way …. and finally, yesterday, my beautiful box from Stonyfield Farm arrived. 🙂

          Let me tell you, it was even better than I’d expected. No expired yogurt at all. Instead I got coupons! Always great when you consume lots of healthy yummy delicious STONYFIELD FARM YOGURT like I do (*wink to camera*)! And not only that, but I got a bunch of awesome cooking stuff – a super thick Stonyfield Farm logo oven mitt,

          heavy-duty pyrex measuring cup and double-spoon AND spatula. PLUS a yougurt cheese maker – which looks like a hairnet,

          but actually makes you YOGURT CHEESE. Doesn’t that sound delicious??! I confess it does not sound all that delicious but I bet it is delicious if it is made with STONYFIELD FARM yogurt, because IT is the BEST. And not only did I get all of those amazing things, BUT I also got a cute cow-emblazoned magnet, a brand new pencil AND a Stonyfield Farm Cookbook, with tons and tons of recipes and ideas for using their delicious healthy yogurt, complete with scrumptious-looking color photographs. This book was written and tested by the CEO’s wife, so you know it’s got to be good. And last but not least, is my brand new beautiful Stonyfield Farm tote bag, with the SF Farm logo on one side and the Brown Cow logo on the other. My husband asked me who the Brown Cow is and I have to say I have no idea, but he/she is cute and that’s all that matters. I even got to USE my tote bag last night when we went to the library. I proudly displayed my yogurt preference to all and sundry and I know everyone was GREEN WITH ENVY. It’s lucky the library is so darn close to Whole Foods, because I think I left a trail of yogurt-hungry people all waiting for a quick release.

          So, in conclusion, I urge each and everyone of you to go out and buy some wonderfully spectacular Stonyfield Farm yogurt today. Then you should go home and create a magnificently delicious recipe and send it to Stonyfield Farm, so that you too may be as happy as I am right now. Sitting here with my new potholder on my hand and my yogurt cheese maker on my head.

          WOW. I just won another contest. ROCK ON!!

          Dear Christin:

          Congratulations! The recipe you submitted to our website, Stonyfield.com, was selected as a winner in our Monthly Recipe Drawing for the month of November. Your prize, a bag full of Stonyfield Farm goodies, is waiting for you! Please reply to this message with a mailing address that we may send your prize to.

          We will be featuring your winning recipe on the Get Cooking Monthly Recipe Drawing section of our website and would also like to include your photo and hometown. If you would like your photo included, please send us a digital headshot of yourself when you send your address. Thank you for submitting your delicious recipe. Be sure to visit Stonyfield.com frequently to get new and updated recipes!

          Best Regards,

          **** ******
          Marketing Coordinator
          Stonyfield Farm