Talking turkey.

9 am and they just left.  A family of fifteen.  Talk about ANIMALS!  By the end of the meal, they’d knocked a tray to the ground, there was food everywhere, and 2 of the kids were pooping in the bushes.  And they didn’t even pay!!  I turned my back for a minute and they’d run off.  I’d try to catch them, but 6 ladies just walked in, there’s a group of 7 due any minute, and a party of 16 this afternoon.  You’d think they’d have the courtesy to call in a reservation.  But of course not.  They are TURKEYS after all.

When some people buy a new house they inherit a lawn mower, or even furniture.  But when we moved in, we got a whole flock of wild turkeys.  The Dole House – our new home – sits atop a hill (Dole Mountain), overlooking a salt marsh, a portion of the Portland Trails hiking system and an Audubon refuge.  And YES it is lovely.  As the turkeys can attest.  B/c daily, like clockwork, they make their way across the land & busy intersections to feast, roost, and do their turkey business in our yard.


more turkeys

These bird sandwiches have become an increasing point of fascination for our entire family.  They’re so engrossing, in fact, that we now adjourn upstairs, or to the kitchen, for a good ole dose of (what we term) Turkey TV.   All four of us – five including the dog – stand pressed against the windows gazing out in wonder at the prehistoric beasts littering our yard.

turkey tv

turkey watch

Each & every morning, and sometimes noon & night, I restock the buffet.  We have twelve feeders.  Several of them are empty w/in an hour or two of being filled.

those wild & crazy turkeys

So we’ve also taken to tossing them seed directly when they show up, much like chicken farmers.

feeding the turkeys

I cannot tell you how funny it is, watching full-grown turkeys hustle up the hill towards us like domesticated pets.  They’ve grown so accustomed to the routine, they barely even flinch when the dog comes out.  They just keep boogie-ing round the yard on their turkey stilts.  Keeping step w/ the sunflower seeds.  Vacuuming up every morsel.  And fighting.

That’s right.  FIGHTING.  I’d heard of turkey jerky, but never jerky turkeys.  The mommas and babies, you can’t help but go Awwwwww.. but some of the bigger ones are just plain awful.

the chase is on

If I weren’t utterly opposed to firearms, I’d be out there shopping for Thanksgiving.  Let’s face it.  Turkeys are not the cutest most cuddly birds to begin with.  Unless you’re an amorous turkey I’d be hard-pressed to find one appealing.  But it’s even harder feeling the love for a big ass bird who’s pecking his much smaller sibling over some free grain.  Especially when that trough of freedom overflows 7 days a week w/out fail.  Listen up mean turkeys!  You better get sweet, and soon, or we might be pulling out the mayo.

10 thoughts on “Talking turkey.

  1. ewwww!! i don’t like to look at my food in its ‘pre-cooked’ state!!!

    my parents have turkey vultures in their yard and lawsie mercy are those things FUGLY. scary too.

    are you booking ‘the manor house’ for thanksgiving? if so, jot ant and me down. we’ll gladly visit and have some turkey and mashed with the dish family.

    ps. what do you mean about no little dishes YET?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!? you’re making me nervous!!!!!! you’re almost home-free and you’re going to start up the madness again?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

  2. Our son, Benny the Troll, would have feast after feast!

    I haven’t seen a flock of turkeys for a couple of years. The males are awesome whilst displaying their tail feathers.

    Fab pics!

  3. Dishy is laying the smack down!

    I am laughing over here. I was wondering how you’d you replace your neighborhood cats but never in my WILDEST IMAGINATION did I even think of turkeys!

    You’ve got a gift.

  4. Thanks Conn – it’s good to be back too! xo

    LOL – Natalie you are too funny! Don’t you worry about lil dishlettes, we have way too much on our plate (and frankly I have too much in my glass) to be thinking about now. As for Turkey Day — looks like we’re gonna be in Philly. I am secretly hoping we’ll get to feast at my favorite – The BORGATA!!! OOoh to dream!

    Heyya S. Le!! Better send Benny over tout de suite – these turkeys are getting outta hand. Hah!

    Bouncy, you always make me LAUGH. My friends are the BEST!

    Hayden what can I say. Feed them & they will come. If that’s a talent, I got it in spades. LOL. xoxoxoxo

  5. PS: I woke up late this morning (weekend, sleep in..) Looked out the window, 8 bachelors literally WAITING IN THE YARD for their grub. I come out – they back off a little whilst I’m scattering seed. I walk over to get the feeders for refilling. The whole flock surges to the side to get out of my way, but this one guy doesn’t know WHAT to do w/ himself. He’s hungry and skittish, but doesn’t want to risk losing out – he just stood there running in circles, round & round. Like a top. Craziest thing ever.

  6. Awesome!!! I don’t think Dixie our poodle would be too keen on all those bigger than her birds being in our back yard. The farm my father-in-law works & lives on has turkeys. When we drive past them we always wind the window down & say Hi to them & they always all gobble gobble in unison

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