Valentine’s gifts you might have overlooked

Available @ KID SURPLUS.COM for real.

FORK IN THE EYE

Extends to over 2 feet – make that romantic meal even more interesting when you steal food off another table.

PERVERT IN TRAINING

“This mischievous Wee Boy from Schylling is a little squirt! Just fill up his base, drop his shorts and he pees!”
HEE HEE!! Isn’t it funny when kids pee in public and adults watch.

FART PEN

“Hysterical Whoopee Pen from Schylling! When bent at the knuckle, this pen farts several different sounds.”
All new meaning to pull my finger.

COAL

“Santa has decided that (Naughty Person’s Name) has been very naughty this year from (Sender’s Name).”
A seasonal gift that keeps on giving.

LIFE-LIKE ATM

Cha-ching!
This will only seduce someone if you fill it with real money. Do not forget.

VIBRATING SOAP

“Yes, this soap really vibrates! Please note that as this is a real bar of soap and not just a toy, it will gradually disappear when used with water. The soap is laboratory tested and safe for use as directed on the box. Batteries are not replaceable.”

FOR SCI-FI FANS

“Maintain the law of the universe with this Star Cops Vibrating Electronic Luminescent Saber! Hear 6 cool saber sounds and feel the vibrating “shooting shock”. Collapsible saber extends to 42″ long!” YIKES!

WHEN YOU JUST CAN’T AFFORD THE REAL THING
GIGANTIC GEMSTONE RING

ONLY $2.39! She’ll never know the difference (wink-wink)

AND FOR THOSE POST-LOVIN MUNCHIES:
Biofino Weiner Schnitzel with French Fries

“According to the original recipe, this dish comes with wiener schnitzel (veal), French fries, ketchup and slice of lemon made from felt and perfectly plated.” YUM-YUM!!

Bargain Toys for the Criminally Inclined Child

I just found this on the Kid Surplus website, marked down to $7.69.

Cracking a safe is an art form, and these clever Playmobil Safe Crackers have to move quick if they want to get the stash before the alarm sounds! Lucky for them, their team includes two master technicians with all the tools of the trade and their own personal safe decoder. Set includes two robbers in signature undercover gear (plaid berets, sunglasses, and a leather jacket), plus a large safe, decoder, keys, stacks of money, a bar of gold, and a briefcase. For ages 4 and above.

Yes, you wouldn’t want those 3 year olds getting their hands on this. Not only might they stick one of the itsy bitsy parts in their mouth and choke, but they might not be so clear as to the “right” and “wrong” of aspiring to become a safe cracker. Not like me.