Reflections on my time as Cupid.

I had a pretty busy weekend. Besides reuniting with a jailbird relative and crossing the picket line at Toys R Us, I also spent a chunk of time filling out Valentines in my role as your own personal cupid!! And let me tell you, it was fun. So much better than coming out of the thrift shoppe Friday to find someone had keyed the crap out of my car. I never anticipated playing Cupid could be quite so engaging, quite so diverting, but it’s been all that and more. And I think I have a knack for this love stuff. It’s not so hard once you get going. Love up one person, then the next guy’s not so hard. It’s like a snowball rolling down a hill. And by the time I reached the bottom of the mountain, I felt tingly all over.

Personalizing cards for people all over the country is a very rewarding task. Much like helping a blind person across the street, which I have also done and found quite nice. There aren’t many things you can do for someone quite so personal as sending their loved one a valentine. Because not only does it require steady nerves and a heart full of romance, but it also entails TRUST. And I am so happy that you all trusted Me to love up your Loved One for You! That shows a level of selflessness not displayed in many, other than swingers. And you should all be congratulated on your openness. Congratulations!

And as you’ve put me in this very special position, I just want to say I have done my best. Like writing “Let’s ————!” in my nicest most come-hither handwriting. I’ve tried my utmost to fulfill your expectations in each and every way when it came to these cards. I know you did not pay me anything for the card itself, or my time, or the postage either, but that’s not the point, is it? If I expected payment for love, would I not be selling myself short? Well perhaps legally it is called prostitution, but humanly it is just called sad. I do not need payment for love. And neither do YOU.

So from the very bottom of my being, I want to wish each and every one of you a very Happy Valentine’s Day! And since I am from Philly, I will say it in Philadelphian too: Happy V-Day, YO! Hope you like the cards! And I also hope that the US Postal Service delivers them on time. And to the right address, as I have had issues with that. But you all live someplace else, and that probably makes all the difference.

FREE Valentines!

If you have left the house since Christmas, you may have noticed that Valentine’s Day is approaching. And this year is even more special, because I (in my infinite generosity) am giving away FREE Valentine’s Day cards. To read what inspired this crazy idea, click HERE and HERE. (Yes, I know I am generous. thank you. Thank you.)

So far I have made successful arrangements with a whopping two handfuls of people – but cards (too many for me to use) are still available. It is time to claim yours.

So how do you get a free card?

  • Look through the selection of cards HERE.
  • Pick one and email me (christy AT thedailydish DOT us) with the following:

WHO to send it to (name and mailing address),

WHAT you want it to say,

WHICH card you want me to use.

It’s that simple.

      I will send you an email confirming everything, so if you do not hear back from me, try again or do not expect a card. Remember to put “Valentine” in the header, so it doesn’t get tossed as spam.

      The cards are going out first thing Monday morning (February 11th), in order for them to arrive on Valentine’s Day. I am hopeful that the US Postal Service will not let us down. Therefore you have only days to get your order in, and as the selection is available on a first-come, first-serve, limited-time basis, I am urging any interested parties to place their orders now. If you all wait until Sunday night I am likely to get grumpy.

      So if you want to add a little spicy silliness to your Valentine’s Day this year, email me with your card request. This is a great opportunity for all you bashful Secret Admirer types to get a FREE valentine for your beloved. Or for all the romantically challenged out there, I will do the legwork for you.

      • Women, you know Your Man will enjoy a suggestive card. They all do. And it is free. Need I say more?
      • Men, you know Your Woman will appreciate knowing that you actually took the time to think about her and orchestrate a funny little romantic surprise. It is something she will think about and appreciate forever.

      There are also cards suitable for friends or family, so even if you do not have a love interest, you can still get a freebie.

      LASTLY, I would like to add. For your peace of mind, I am an honest married mother of two. I will not be doing anything nefarious with the information you send me. I am not a spammer, and I will not sell or share your personal information with anyone. This free valentine’s card offer is being made in the spirit of goodwill, love and silliness, and is intended strictly for for the betterment of humankind. After I fill out your card, your information will be deleted forever.

      So what are you waiting for?? This is your last reminder.

      I AM your own PERSONAL CUPID. I am serious.

      A couple days ago I posted about finding a bunch of vintage valentines at the thrift shop, and how I’d been struck by the sweetness of it all. Well – when I bought the whole big whopping sack of them, I suspected there were probably more than I could use, but I hadn’t realized precisely how many until I actually counted them last night. 65. WOW. That’s a lot of valentines. If I use one per year for the next 65 years, I’ll be dead before they are gone.

      So I started thinking about My poor dead self – dead. and all those unsent valentines. Sitting unused in some dusty desk – or thrown out in the trash. Or recycled into new 2073 Valentines. And all those choice 1980s sentiments gone.

      SO I thought about that for a while last night, while drinking my wine and watching Arrested Development. and noticing how unbelievably adorable Jason Bateman is and how young he looks, like he cannot possibly be 39 because he looks so great and so YOUNG and , and. wow. 65 valentines that is a lot. I could send them all out this year – you know carpe diem, SEIZE THE DAY and all that. It is Valentine’s Day after all and I am ALL ABOUT LOVE. But somehow I think it might be a bad idea for me to send 65 people suggestive cards suggesting that we get it on. What if they all showed up at the same time? That’s a lot of chex mix. Not to mention the fact that my husband is a very jealous man. Just look at him in this year’s Christmas photo.

      There aren’t a lot of opportunities for a man to swing an axe living in the city.

      So when my blog buddy Hayden commented yesterday asking where she could sign up for some cards – I thought hey, maybe I should do it. Maybe I SHOULD make some Valentine’s Day dreams come true -or at least make somebody’s V-day a whole lot funnier. We need more laughter these days.

      Therefore I am officially making the offer to be YOUR OWN PERSONAL CUPID this Valentine’s season. I have 65 “new” (really vintage 1980s) Recycled Paper Products Inc. valentine cards up for grabs. Most of them involve risque humor, not ideal for grandma, kids, or your boss (unless of course you are sleeping with your boss), but some are okay for them too. You can click through and actually view the entire selection HERE. With the help of my husband above, who helped me ever-so-kindly scan them. If you find a card (or cards) that speaks to you, email and let me know. I will be happy to personalize it as instructed by you and mail it to the UNBELIEVABLY LUCKY recipient of your choice, or you can of course opt for poetic license and have me create my own imaginative greeting FOR YOU. Now we’re talking real FUN.

      So, in summary, if you would like me to be YOUR OWN PERSONAL CUPID, simply CLICK HERE to select a card, email me with the Title, recipient info, etc. and I will be happy to make your Valentine’s day dreams come true. BUT HURRY – ONLY WHILE LIMITED SUPPLIES LAST!