Last night I had a dream that it was Christmas and I was going to church with my parents.
This wasn’t a church I’d ever been to before; it was an old church, but totally new to me. The church, instead of having one big sanctuary, was divided into a bunch of different rooms. My husband got separated from us; I looked up and it was just my mom and me. I was walking around the perimeter of this one really big room, as if to make my way to another area, but my mom was making her way straight through the middle, through all these people, and she was cursing REALLY LOUDLY. My mom rarely curses, so it struck me as super strange, but I realized she was angry because it was Christmas, and our only chance to be at church together at Christmas, and this room wasn’t where she wanted to be. She wanted to be in the dolled-up sanctuary all together as a family, to enjoy the show- so to speak. She was pissed. Finally she called me over to where she’d found seats. And it turned out to be a big booth, like at a restaurant. I looked around the room (it was quite large) and there were big dining tables everywhere. I remember thinking well this is weird, but I was also excited because I was hungry. So I slid into one side of the booth, and my mom got in after me. I sat looking around wondering what would happen next. The church folks obviously thought there would be a greater attendance (it was Christmas) but there weren’t many people in this dining area. So they drew a huge curtain across half the room – presumably to make it more cozy and reduce the workload later; to keep stragglers in the smaller section and the unused tables clean. Soon an old lady brought over a small plate heaped with apple chunks and set it before us. It looked like a waldorf salad, it was dressed in some sort of mayonnaise sauce, but there wasn’t anything else to it. It was just yellow apple chunks. My mom pushed the plate over to me and said I could have it. So I started digging into the apples, and they were okay, because I was really hungry. I’d eaten almost the whole plate (it was small) before I realized my dad was seated across from me. He had a bowl (I couldn’t see what it was) and my mom was adding “chips” to it – she called them that – presumably chocolate chips or butterscotch chips, something like that, from a bag in her purse. Like, to sweeten the deal. Maybe he was eating oatmeal? So finally the service starts. But the preacher is some white guy dressed as a gangsta rapper; there’s a DJ on a riser up beside him, spinning, and he’s got some visual effects to enhance his program. He starts talking about his street cred- and I couldn’t even hear what he was saying because I was so shocked and horrified. It was AWFUL. Thankfully the whole thing was over quickly, and then this young woman came by our table collecting the clothes on the seat beside me. I’d noticed them before, but didn’t know what they were. So I start handing over these vintage clothes – jackets and sweaters – before realizing HEY she’s gonna resell those! And I didn’t really care, but I was a bit intrigued. The whole time I just kept wondering what they were going to bring us for the REAL MEAL. Because I was really hungry. And then I woke up.