Every single upright vacuum I’ve ever owned has SUCKED, and not in the way it should. No matter how many belts I’ve changed, how many clogs I’ve unplugged, how much FREAKING HAIR I’VE UNWOUND, each and every one of them has failed.
You buy a vacuum. It looks good. It works well for a (short) period of time. And then SOMETHING HAPPENS. I do not know what precisely this IT is. But afterward, it will vacuum no more. Sure, the machine will push the dirt around, pretending to vacuum, but we both know it’s not picking anything up. Eventually the burning smell grows too strong to stand and the no-suck sucker gets shoved to the curb.
My parents, and now my own family, have experienced the heartache of crappy vacuums too many times to recall. My folks have sent countless vacuums to the repair shop, to no avail. Two years ago, out of desperation, my husband & I decided to use a shop vac exclusively. On the plus side: it works. Unfortunately, it’s also freight-train heavy, cumbersome in size and indiscriminate in suction. The shop vac’s superpower doesn’t wane, but frankly MINE DOES. Which makes cleaning more than once every 2 weeks an impossibility unless I want to be crippled.
But we have a LOT of pets. And we have kids. All of which are dirty. Our dog Max, for instance, has some sort of “seasonal” allergy which lasts roughly 348 days of the year. This “problem” (for lack of a better word) leaves him an itchy, flaky, balding, stinking mess and our floors looking like a Head & Shoulders/Rogaine user’s most soul-shuddering nightmare. As you can imagine, Max is going through a particularly bad patch right now, leading to my thinking about this cleaning dilemma a lot. If our vacuum weighed less than 75 pounds and was smaller than a kitchen table, I could use it more frequently.
So yesterday I went to BJs and I picked myself up a vacuum.
HOLY CRAP!! I thought when I saw it. THIS is IT. I barely read the rest of the box; PET HAIR ERASER was enough for me. I looked at the price. Not cheap at $139.99 – but way cheaper than the $500 FREAKING DOLLAR DYSON right beside it. I wasn’t terribly optimistic, knowing how many times I’ve been had by other vacuums. But anything was better than hauling that shop vac up & down the stairs one more time.
My husband put it together last night, and had it working in minutes. I vacuumed one room and watched with pleasure as the canister filled with gray filth. I pushed that beautiful vacuum up and down our floors, gazing as it gobbled detritus like dessert, hairballs spiraling like a cyclone. OH! Pet Hair Eraser, where have you been all my life??
As I vacuumed, my heart filled with joy. B/c my floors were clean. I could walk across them w/out leaving footprints. The soles of my shoes were not plastered with hair. I was FREE.
I vacuumed the whole first floor last night. NO back-breaking labor. No hunching over – dragging the damn shop vac throughout the house. Today I brought my new Pet Hair Eraser upstairs and vacuumed the 2nd and 3rd floors.. WITHOUT BEING ASKED!!!!! My husband – God Bless him – I know he did not marry me for my cleaning skills. But he is gonna be LOVING ME MORE THAN EVER! NOW That our home has been liberated from dander.
THANK YOU Bissell Pet Hair Eraser with Dual Cyclonic Action and extra long cord!!
Thank you for making me so very HAPPY!
Ladies & Gentlemen, may I introduce the greatest pet-hair-sucking-up machine ever: The Bissell Pet Hair Eraser. Long May It Live. (PS: Click that link. The TV commercial for this thing is seriously funny.)
19 thoughts on “The Bissell Pet Hair Eraser”
“leaves him an itchy, flaky, balding, stinking mess” – sounds like me after Game 5 on Monday night . . .
May your vacuum live long and clean much 🙂
I always wondered how those little robot ones worked…do you think they get out of the closet by themselves, clean and then put themselves away?
We too own a “pet hair specific” vacuum with cyclone power and, well, gross.
While I adore the, um, suckiness, the stink left in the cyclones leaves something to be desired.
Glad that you kind of enjoy vacuuming.
Well my love, let’s hope the Phils really clean up tonight (wah wah wahhh_)
Thanks Connie! This is the first time I’ve written an UNPAID sponsorship piece, but I am just so pleased w/ this vacuum. However, should Pet Hair Eraser give me the ole shaft-a-roonie, I will be LETTING EVERYONE KNOW.
As for the roomba, they’ve always intrigued me. But they look too small to keep up w/ max’s endless shedding. And the girls are always leaving junk on the floor. Let’s just say we aren’t an ideal robot vacuum family – unless of course it were a Jetson’s type Rosie.
HEYYA Bouncy! I agree – the aftersmell in that can is NOXIOUS. But now that I have such a swell vacuum I am in heaven! Slap on an apron and call me Christy — for once, this housewife thing ain’t too bad.
I have little Bissell carpet cleaner and it works great for what it is.
Not the primary cleaner, for this is just a lightweight thingie that isn’t even electric. The indoor equivalent of a push mower. Quick & handy on the spot, no noise, no fuss. Occasionally the receptacle needs to be emptied and the brushes combed clean with a special tool, but that takes about half a minute.
Hope your new gizmo keeps working as beautifully as these first few rapturous days!
Wow life has changed when we get excited about a vacuum! ha ha! I feel ya. As a matter of fact, I forwarded the link for the sucker to a friend who I feel could make dog wigs out of the extra pet hair laying around the house!!!
Well this is something I have a great deal of experience with.
I have owned a carpet cleaning business since March of 1985.
You may want to look into a portable air scrubber like the Austin Air Health Mate. That will remove particulate matter as well as vapors from the air. I don’t sell them so I’m not trying to make a buck here.
When my dad had a lung removed I bought him one and it made a tremendous difference about the indoor air quality in their home.
As for vacuuming. Believe it or not most people vacuum wrong. If your vacuum has a beater brush on it you should adjust it to where the bristles on the brush are just “tickling” the face yarns on your carpet. This will allow the shaft of the fibers to seperate and allow air to flow up the length of the shaft, thereby removing more “junk” from your carpet.
If the beater brush is set too low it crushes the fibers and impedes the air flow (dirt removal).
That new vac sounds great!
Sounds like dust bunnies are now an endangered species in Dishyville!
just call the PEOPLE. poof! dirt is gone and you don’t have to lug a vacuum anywhere. you can just sit on your white sofas and inhale chocolates.
ps. i’m kidding! i would NEVER eat chocolate on my sofas.
Oh Panny I love those floor sweepers! As for Hair Eraser — still working like a charm this morn. YES I AM VACUUMING EVERY DAY. Call me Crazy. Crazy in LOVE!!!
Heyya Hellcat! I know just how those 50s housewives felt. Trust me – your friend will thank you. 🙂
Great tips Mssc54! However…we have hardwood floors throughout the house. Any hints for those? Anyone? PS: DO NOT RECOMMEND CARPETING.
HAH! Carrie. those are the ONLY bunnies not welcome here.
Curly, you are tooooo funny. PS: Flat You was really whooping it up last night AFTER THE BIG WIN!!!!! YEEEEHAWWWW!! I may have to feed her some flat Tylenol shortly.
Did you ever imagine a post about vacuuming would cause so much commotion?
(P.S. Curl, why do you think our new sofa is brown. I’ll give you a hit, it’s not because of B.)
NEVER, Bouncy babe. Not even in my wildest dreams. Which now involve dual cyclonic action and a long cord.
If you have hard surfaced floors you really should consider a portable air scrubber.
You know those little flowers that turn into a round whiet ball of individual fluffy seads that you can hold up to your mouth and blow, then watch them all float away?
Well that’s what happens when you walk across your hard surfaced floors. All the particulate matter laying on the floor surface gets air born with each step or any movement. (remember there is a layer of air being pushed in front of your feet with each step).
If your ventilating system (heat/A/C) has the vents in the floor much of that partiiculate matter settles in there. When the fan turns on it shoots all that out into the room again. You walk by, it falls back in and the cycle continues.
You can minimize that by using cheese cloth on the inside of the register. That will allow the air to flow through but capture the particulate matter. Keep an eye on them since they will act like the filter on your A/C.
Most people don’t realize what an excellent filter carpetting is for their indoor environment. 😉
But do check on that Austin Air Purifier.
WOW. Thanks Mssc54! All the talk about particulate matter leaves me both fascinated and REPULSED. Ahhh. ignorance IS Bliss.
There is one great thing about air borne particulate matter… boogers come out in clumps instead of messy gooey things. 🙂
I loved my pet eraser too until it quit sucking up all that hair and muck. I’ve not quite had mine a year yet and it’s stopped working twice. good luck. when it’s working, it’s great.
Nice and usefull post, thanks, this is one for my bookmarks!
How I wish I could give a glowing report on the Bissel Pet Hair Eraer….no such luck.
We have a Yellow Lab and Australian Sheppard.
Today I was on my hands and knees getting up hair and dirt off our stone floors. That was after pushing the Bissel vacuum around the entire house. TWICE! Yes the Bissel has that bit of velcro edge that will unfold to a horizontal position; it gets up some but far from all the pet hair. My old $89.00 Eureka (with a bag) does a better job.