SO. I’m standing in the kitchen this morning, enjoying a nice banana scone, when in walks my blog. He looks awful and he smells even worse, like he’s been up half the night drinking. He looks at me and announces in a wounded voice that we’re 2 weeks into the new year and – he says – I’ve done just one post.
YES! I retort, but Interview with a Roller Girl wasn’t some slapdash diatribe regaling the world w/my favorite choice of deodorant (cucumber green tea); it was THOUGHT PROVOKING STUFF. With formatting, photos and everything.
He scoffs, and proceeds to tell me that my friend Kim did most of the work. Then he helps himself to the last scone.
I am stunned. THE LAST SCONE?! Now that’s going a bit too far. I grab him by the arm of his dirty shirt and toss him out into the snow. Deaf to his screams of LET ME BACK IN YOU SELF-ABSORBED MORON! I lean against the counter and think…
BUT. can you blame me? I mean, seriously. I’m only human.
And then all at once – it dawns on me. He’s jealous! My blog! after all these years.. He’s feeling NEEDY. While whiling away the hours with his brother, whipping up intoxicating creations for the salt deprived, my poor blog is.. Lonely. Oh, the poor guy.
It’s not that I never think of him – I DO! It’s just that I’ve been SO BUSY! Cooking it up every day with his brother takes a lot out of a girl. Yes that sounds bad, I admit, but.. I assure you it’s innocent. Plus, there’s been the new puppy. Taking care of her has been totally absorbing, and – What do you mean, what do I mean? Roxy. The puppy. The NEW PUPPY. Oh? I didn’t tell you? (awkward)
(sound of crickets chirping)
Sooo, here’s Roxy!
No, not last week. It’s been um.. more like a month. Sorry about that. I did post it on the OTHER Daily Dish. So. Yep…..
Okay. I get it. I understand. My blog is tired of feeling sloughed off like an unwanted heel callous. You know what? I love my blog. Even though I’ve been distracted, and haven’t been as attentive as in the past, that doesn’t mean I’ve forsaken him. Like most marriages, this relationship between me & the blog is.. well, it’s special. So I am resolving that this new year we start fresh. I may have temporarily forgotten what it’s like to woo, but that doesn’t mean I can’t court with the best of them. I can! I CAN! Blog baby, it’s gonna be different this year. More daily contact — REALLY! I’ll even take my socks off before touching your keyboard — b/c 2011, it’s all about YOU.